Marriage

Apropos of nothing, except that I attended a wedding yesterday ...

It occurred to me that when people talk about a marriage breaking down or a broken marriage, it is not really the marriage, per se, that is the problem, and certainly has nothing to do with the institution of marriage. It is the two people in the marriage that is the problem. Either they have stopped caring, stopped trying, or grown too far apart. In short, they have stopped working on their relationship and are thinking of themselves as individuals rather than part of a whole.

A relationship (and marriage is just a formalized and sanctioned relationship), like any other living thing in the universe, requires work to maintain and grow. If you stop feeding a pet it dies. If you stop watering a plant it withers. If you stop ... what? ... to a relationship it dies. That is the question isn't it? What is the analog of feeding and watering for a relationship? What kind of things does one do to maintain and grow a relationship? Unfortunately, it is not that simple. A relationship is an enormously complicated thing, and the particular needs of a relationship will vary with the relationship. I can not give you any prescription. You must figure yours out for yourself - that's if you still care about the relationship, of course.

One primary ingredient, though, is communication. There must be open and honest communication between you and your partner. Once you have that, other needs of the relationship will make itself known.