Process and (or is that "versus") Results

Sometimes I worry about my retirement years. Not about whether we'll have enough money to maintain our lifestyle (maybe even somewhat enhanced), but how long it will be before my wife either kills me or kicks me out of the house. (Actually, I'm only half kidding: she won't actually kill me - she couldn't even kill spiders, which she despises more than anything in this world, but she may very well kick me out of the house.)

See, we were both in our 30's when we met and married, so we were pretty much set in our ways. She has her ways of doing things and I have mine and we don't always agree. And most of the time we're each convinced ours is the only and correct way.

Don't get me wrong; we work wonderfully well together for the important things, but for little everyday things like making lunch we'll have a fight over. She prefers that things are cleaned up after each step so there's no "mess" at all. I prefer to get the job done first and clean up afterwards. (If you walked in the kitchen when I'm preparing a sandwich you could not be faulted for thinking I was preparing a 3 course meal.) In my mind the end result is the same: a clean kitchen, and it is the end result that matters. To my wife, the process is just as important.

After 20+ years of marriage I have finally come to realize (yes, I'm a slow learner) that it is far better for me to stay out of the way (and feel guilty about not helping) than to stay and have a small skirmish. After all, it is the end result that matters and my guilty feelings is a small price to pay for peace. Besides, the guilty feelings are completely my issue and is something I can work on.